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Name: Miko | Mike
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Orange County
Birthday: 11/20/1900
Interests: Photography, Running, Writing, Martial Arts (Aikido), Army (Combat Medic), Politics and wishing upon a star
Expertise: Making the kids run when I strut down the block
Occupation: Military
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Miko1120
Member Since:
6/6/2002
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To the one I must finally let go:
Something interesting has been happening to me lately. My hair has grown out longer than its ever been in nearly six years - its over two inches on top. For all my time in the military, it hasn't grown more than half an inch anywhere. This may seem trivial to you, but to me, its the sign of change in my life. In less than a year, I will get out of the military to begin new endeavours. The change feels like the spring winds entering the end of Winter, warming your soul for the new beauty that will come.
Like how spring's flowers only bloom when Winter has given it the snow and water to grow, you have nourished my well-being to enter a new era and chapter in my life.
Darling, it has been years since we've really talked. The last question you asked me was "Do you love better?" I didn't understand for years. Now, with conviction, I can tell you I love better. I realized the errors in my character, and the person who I had to become worthy of being your man. In the process of becoming that better person in hopes of winning you back, I realized that I could never have you back. The hurt, the lies, the secrets, the built up resentment... it was a wall that could no longer be broken down by only one side of love. Regretfully, I turned my back to that wall and moved on with the rest of my life.
Every now and then, I return to that wall and I look at what bricks I tried to break down. I looked at my hands and the scars I wrought on them, in vein, but without regret. Every now and then, I stand at the wall shouting, trying to penetrate the wall we've built, and hope, just hope, that you'll recognize a slight whisper. I want you to hear how much I've grown, how much of a man I've turned into, how I'm now the man you truly deserve since the beginning. Its been years in the making, but I did change... for you.
The wall will never be broken down and you'll never care to know how much I've changed because we've broken up. You'll never know that our breakup was one of the best things in my life. But now, I want you to know one thing. I'm glad you entered and left my life, leaving the fond memories etched into my being.
Darling, the seasons are changing, and my life. I'm moving forward. I'm getting married soon. I'm letting go of everything... no more hurt, no more misplaced feelings will reside in my heart. I have to get over it. But as I get over it, like the melting of snow in way for Spring, the water will flow and give life a chance to bloom and become wonderful. If you ever wonder about us, know that you made my life wonderful with the snow, ice and water to nourish my future. My future will be just fine.
This will be the last time I will revisit the wall and say, "You're the one that I let get away. I love you, and always will." This is the last time. No more. No more. I hope you never come back to the wall because I'll never be there again to take it down.
-Mike | | |
| Death. Life.
Sands and forest.
And returning from a place no less than hell.
I'm no longer ashamed to show where I am now.
This is my life. It continues at
www.xanga.com/starsshatters
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| This Xanga is done.
--
This June would've been my fourth year
writing for Xanga. I used to write about everything, but with time, my
perspective on life changed.
Through living in the ghetto of New Jersey, my girlfriends, my move to sunny California, my
loyal best friends, my
parent's regretful breakup, the rough and tough Army, figuring myself out, working EMS and seeing
shit, and the fun of college - experience has taught me many things: Things that
seemed like the end of
the world, in the end, didn't even seem
like the beginning of anything. Time and experience grants us
perspective. With perspective, writing about trivial things is just... trivial. Thus, the end of this Xanga.
So to all the people I loved, to all the people my tears fell for, for
all the smiles I shared with, for all the bellyaches I had with, to the
times when I felt infinite, to the lazy days, the fast days, to the
nights where it was just us... Thank you. You made me who I am today.
This isn't the end; this is just the beginning.
-Miko
Iraq in five months.
Pictures for the road
The fellas from Middle Earth's Calmindon (yeah, Calmindon DOES exsist in LOTR)
Of all my sisters, she is my favorite
Watch out for those filipino gangsters taking over subways
Also watch out for the asians and the random white guy invading Fall Out Boy Concerts
Or maybe watching out for Thy and I posing like dolls... Uh oh!
A long, lazy summer day wakeboarding
And Paul with his new car I bought for him... lucky bastard haha
So, did I ever mention I was a rockstar in the Army?
Yeah, Janie used to be a fan when I was a rockstar.
Those are my bandmates.
These folks are my inspiration. Can't you see how excited they make me?
At Messiah Christian High School, we epitomized gangster.
Jen's bday. Oh, how long ago that hot humid day was...
You can't forget good memories.
Especially with good folks like Emily and Tito
Or Slammin Sugar
My high school's basketball team. Yep, I was starting bench.
Hey, is she pinching my ass?
Well, we know whose ass is being pinched here for sure.
This is my ex-girlfriend
Victoria. Sorry, Tori, I couldn't find a better pic of you on my comp
from back in the day. I think I destroyed all your other pics and I
defamed the rest at the height of our breakup. I don't hate you anymore, really.
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| You try to focus on the good things,
but your peripheral vision just keeps capturing
the bigger picture of the bad things.
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By the way, everyone, having hair rocks. :D
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